The Napkin Lists: Return of the Napkins

Its just one of those days, I'm bored with nothing to do, and nothing is holding my interest. This makes me sad, and I know everyone gets like this and that's why I am making it my intention to take away that lethargy and replace it with some deep insights and words that will make your insides smile. And so, here is the return of the Napkin Lists and a double whammy today!

How To Fit Into Society

1. Stop being a unique and interesting individual

2. Become generic

3. Stop hanging out with your unicorn friends



How To Be Happy

1. Realise all the faults in your life, time you have wasted and things you haven’t done. The years spent being educated that haven’t thought you anything or wielded any fruits, the job and boss you dread waking up every morning for, and every moment spent in that place where you feel your soul drying out and shrivelling up into a ball of dust like a leaf near the end of Autumn, that special person in your life who secretly despise and wish every time they begin to speak that they would just leave you for someone else.

2. Accept it and move on

3. Smile. Smile because you can do something that many others can’t live your life the way it is, without constantly boring yourself with all your complaints

4. Capture a fairy creature and collect all the happiness and loveliness that hey defecate.

5. Live forever on Unicorn blood.

Yup, that is what a half eaten rotting unicorn limb looks like in the hands of an Emo Zombie