Its just one of those days, I'm bored with nothing to do, and nothing is holding my interest. This makes me sad, and I know everyone gets like this and that's why I am making it my intention to take away that lethargy and replace it with some deep insights and words that will make your insides smile. And so, here is the return of the Napkin Lists and a double whammy today!
How To Fit Into Society
1. Stop being a unique and interesting individual
2. Become generic
3. Stop hanging out with your unicorn friends
How To Be Happy
1. Realise all the faults in your life, time you have wasted and things you haven’t done. The years spent being educated that haven’t thought you anything or wielded any fruits, the job and boss you dread waking up every morning for, and every moment spent in that place where you feel your soul drying out and shrivelling up into a ball of dust like a leaf near the end of Autumn, that special person in your life who secretly despise and wish every time they begin to speak that they would just leave you for someone else.
2. Accept it and move on
3. Smile. Smile because you can do something that many others can’t live your life the way it is, without constantly boring yourself with all your complaints
4. Capture a fairy creature and collect all the happiness and loveliness that hey defecate.
5. Live forever on Unicorn blood.
Adventures in life, food, photography, philosophy, chilling out and in general whatever it is that comes to mind ... mostly whatever it is that comes to mind, because even though wearing a watch doesn't mean you have time on your hands, I certainly feel like I do!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Punk Rock Concerts, Going Home Smelling Of Jager, Attack of the Jazz Hands and a Candleriffic Mess
I first intended on writing a blog update based on a night out at a punk rock concert in Krakow, after which we returned to the pub we were at before and proceeded to destroy the place by pouring candle wax everywhere, and seriously I mean everywhere, breaking glasses through the power of the mighty jazz hands wielded by Jazz Hands Girl and a foul stench of Red Hair who earlier had spilled Jagermeister and Orange Juice all over herself. It was to discuss the pretentiousness of musicphiles and punk enthusiasts in particular and the cultural differences that exist and could be seen on this night.
But why bother going on about these things, everyone knows that anyone into a very selective genre of music, attempt to create an air of individuality, uniqueness and anti-societal substance, but in the end just becomes one of the many clogs of a sub culture, which will eventually either die out or become part of everyday culture. More then 30 years on from the 1977 ‘Music Revolution’, this has already happened. And the cultural differences, turns out when people are drinking, listening to music and wanting to mosh, nationality does not come into it.
Well, not for the most part, but one thing I have noticed while I’m here, and it is something that disgusts me. The Poles are snobbish when it comes to drink. So allow me this aside as I explain what I mean and totally diss on the culture of my host land. In a pub, bar or any where else where you’d be wanting to get plastered, the server should gladly make the drink you’ve ordered and not question it, they should be happy to, and do it without complaint! But here in Poland, this isn’t the case. Ordering a Jameson Whiskey with ice and lemon really seems to cause some confusion. This is my drink and this is how I drink it. Bartenders, particularly one I know of, seem to think this is the funniest thing ever, while others just stare at me, until I’ve explained: pour a measure over some ice and put a slice of lemon in it. Really, it’s not difficult. Now I understand some people, maybe even the majority mightn’t enjoy whiskey in this way, they might even think it’s spoilt by having it so, but they aren’t the ones drinking it. In Ireland, you wouldn’t question how someone takes their drink, no matter how curious you are. At most, a drinking buddy will ask for a taste and from my experience bar staff will even go so far, to gladly make up the sickening cocktails you’ve just invented for your drunken birthday mates, and which include Maynard Wine Gums.
Thanks Blonde Bartender at the Stables!
But anyway, back to it! Other things which I can discuss that are at least some how related. The Jager and Orange Juice is something. I’d never heard of this before, but Jazz Hand Girls tells us it’s very good, or she did at the concert and I must say I agree. Something new I will take home with me and be happy too.
I really don't know what to write now.
Good night.
But why bother going on about these things, everyone knows that anyone into a very selective genre of music, attempt to create an air of individuality, uniqueness and anti-societal substance, but in the end just becomes one of the many clogs of a sub culture, which will eventually either die out or become part of everyday culture. More then 30 years on from the 1977 ‘Music Revolution’, this has already happened. And the cultural differences, turns out when people are drinking, listening to music and wanting to mosh, nationality does not come into it.
Well, not for the most part, but one thing I have noticed while I’m here, and it is something that disgusts me. The Poles are snobbish when it comes to drink. So allow me this aside as I explain what I mean and totally diss on the culture of my host land. In a pub, bar or any where else where you’d be wanting to get plastered, the server should gladly make the drink you’ve ordered and not question it, they should be happy to, and do it without complaint! But here in Poland, this isn’t the case. Ordering a Jameson Whiskey with ice and lemon really seems to cause some confusion. This is my drink and this is how I drink it. Bartenders, particularly one I know of, seem to think this is the funniest thing ever, while others just stare at me, until I’ve explained: pour a measure over some ice and put a slice of lemon in it. Really, it’s not difficult. Now I understand some people, maybe even the majority mightn’t enjoy whiskey in this way, they might even think it’s spoilt by having it so, but they aren’t the ones drinking it. In Ireland, you wouldn’t question how someone takes their drink, no matter how curious you are. At most, a drinking buddy will ask for a taste and from my experience bar staff will even go so far, to gladly make up the sickening cocktails you’ve just invented for your drunken birthday mates, and which include Maynard Wine Gums.
Thanks Blonde Bartender at the Stables!
But anyway, back to it! Other things which I can discuss that are at least some how related. The Jager and Orange Juice is something. I’d never heard of this before, but Jazz Hand Girls tells us it’s very good, or she did at the concert and I must say I agree. Something new I will take home with me and be happy too.

Good night.
The Napkin Lists: The Beginning
Once again I seem to be losing concentration, focus and as himself would say 'belief' and that's why updates have been so spaced out, as well as now I seem to be pretty busy, reading, presentations, Christmas shopping and getting ready to go home for the holidays. But never fear all my loving fans, yes I am talking to all six of you (people please follow me I crave your attention and love, I wish to be popular) I am still writing, but lately it tends to be more lists of what I have to do and nonsensicals on napkins in Coffee Heaven (Post-communist Eastern Europe's greatest institution and God how I wish they existed in Ireland) so to keep you all happy I shall be uploading these nonsensicals and generation defining writings when I have the chance and please enjoy
How to...Create a Solid Gold Rocket Horse!
1. Hunt down a Unicorn
2. Hold it down by one of its hairs. Unicorns are incredibly high maintenance and the thought of risking a split end by attempting escape would terrify it. If this fails, throw down some salt, everyone knows fairy creatures are compelled to count every grain.
3. Feed it
4. Play with it
5. Love it
6. Name it, ‘Rocket Sugar’ preferably
7. Make sure it does well at school, and has lots of friends and is happy
8. Wait for two years and then announce to the media that you have discovered a real life unicorn. Always wait two years, any less and Rocket Sugar won’t have had time to adapt and will not love you still for what you have done, any more ad you will have become too attached.
9. Make lots of money from it and then tell everyone that this celebrity wants rockets
10. Attach the rockets
11. Paint Rocket Sugar Gold
12. Fly to the Moon
How to...Create a Solid Gold Rocket Horse!
1. Hunt down a Unicorn
2. Hold it down by one of its hairs. Unicorns are incredibly high maintenance and the thought of risking a split end by attempting escape would terrify it. If this fails, throw down some salt, everyone knows fairy creatures are compelled to count every grain.
3. Feed it
4. Play with it
5. Love it
6. Name it, ‘Rocket Sugar’ preferably
7. Make sure it does well at school, and has lots of friends and is happy
8. Wait for two years and then announce to the media that you have discovered a real life unicorn. Always wait two years, any less and Rocket Sugar won’t have had time to adapt and will not love you still for what you have done, any more ad you will have become too attached.
9. Make lots of money from it and then tell everyone that this celebrity wants rockets
10. Attach the rockets
11. Paint Rocket Sugar Gold
12. Fly to the Moon
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