I have now for almost two months been living in a quite small apartment at
Ulica Dielta with Red Hair and Noodles, and though the place is quite comfortable and lovely it does come with a few faults.
For one thing, the neighbours! We live on the top floor with two other flats, and the wall of the bedroom I share with Red Hair is sharing a wall with the guy next door's bathroom and Kitchen. Now you may ask how could we know this?! 'Have you been 'round, oh that must have been nice, did he put out a spread with biscuits and buns and offer you a drink?' No! The guy, who when at three in the morning decides its time to wash for the fifth time that day, its quite easy to hate him. But then. You see the guy, and he's so friendly when you pass him on the stairs and you just want to mother him. Put the spread out for him, but then you'd have to call it 'an assortment of food including cookies and cakes, accumulating in the drinking of beer' and that's if he speaks English. So
ok, the guy likes to keep clean, that's fair enough, cleanliness is next to godliness or so I've been told, but we have to draw the line somewhere! He hoovers, shaves and fills the kettle all the time! Well not all the time, it isn't a constant state of shave, tea, wash, hoover, he only ever seems to do it at night time. Perhaps he is insomniac, or doesn't realise the pipes to his apartment run through our walls, though perhaps he's just a prick! The other night, I was keeping
M'colleague company out in the hall and we'd left the door open behind us (once again, I'd temporarily misplaced my keys) and we could hear the music playing, quite loudly, from the room next to his apartment, if we could hear the music he surely knows we can hear him. The thing is though, he has friends round pretty late and plays music during the day. It's all in Polish so we can't understand but no matter what time this is, it doesn't bother me, its the constant running of water that bugs me, driving me into a state of near insanity!
But if you think I'm overreacting, let me pose a question to you. Why would a man feel the need to shower several times during the night, at one, at four and again at six? What could he be up to?!
Here's a hint...As you can imagine, especially anyone who has ever stayed in a room that had masses of pipes in the walls, this is a pretty big point, noise, but not even the worse, or the strangest that we've got to put with here!
Ghost bats.Yes that's right, ghost bats! And no I don't mean the ridiculously cute
Macroderma gigas, also known as the False Vampire bat, native to northern parts of Australia, but rather ghost bats! The ghost of a bat, or perhaps a creature who died and as a ghost deiced to become a bat, and haunt the shit out of our flat. And before judging me too harshly for my theory let me explain my proofs.
That's some scary shit right there my friend!As I've already mentioned we live on the top floor, that is there is nothing above us only sky, everything is below and we are all there is at this height. Yeah we can hear what clearly sounds like footsteps on our ceiling (I know bats can't walk but I know for a fact it ain't Santa Claus!), we can hear banging in the walls and all my socks have a hole in them. What else could it be only ghost bats. Oh and we also hear them making '
buzzy' sounds and acting like batteries!
I look like a feckin' HoboBut I really do like this place, we have the most amazing view of
Wawel, and living next door to
Kazimeriz and only a few minutes from the market square is really handy, considering one of those places is mostly pubs and the other cafes. And so I'm choosing to believe that everywhere has
at least one or two discrepancies that the landlord will always fail to mention so, I promise I will do my best, to move on and get over it. I'll make friends with the guy next door and as it is I'm sure the ghost bats are already my friends, so that's all good.